Love yourself unforgivingly
I am scared. I fear I am not truly loved, that nobody likes me. These are the thoughts, the anxieties, that seem to creep into my life. These are the thoughts that keep me, and I believe many others, up at night.
I speculate that it's because we want to feel loved so badly that the idea of not having that conjures up into the biggest fear we can think of, that we simply aren't loved. Often, I feel I let these thoughts rule my life; I seek approval from others so I can use it as proof that I am loved because if I can finally prove to myself that they like me, that they LOVE me, then finally the thoughts, the fears, the worrying will stop. But it never does. That's because proof isn't what we are missing, but our own ability to love ourselves. How can we expect to believe anybody loves us if we can't even love ourselves?
I say we start there. In our life, we neglect ourselves so much that we start living for other people. We thrive off of the little tasks we can do for others to make them like us, we try to become the people we think others want us to be, but not truly who makes us happiest. We need to start living for ourselves again. We are held down by the opinions of people who don’t have a clue what you truly desire in your life. Why do we allow this clueless crowd to control our lives when their opinion in the long run just blurs into noise? Noise that traps us into little boxes. That makes us feel so stuck in our lives we can't imagine any other way to live.
I am here to tell you that you are not stuck. You are the furthest thing from stuck. We need to start living with the only goal in our lives being what will make us happiest. We have been told countless times in our lives that this thought process is selfish and bad, but that is one of the biggest lies. Sure, being selfish in some ways is bad like Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network” when he writes Andrew Garfield out of the company, that was bad selfish. But what I'm saying is that having yourself in mind when you make decisions isn't a crime or a sin. We do not have to prove that we are good by throwing out every need for ourselves to satisfy somebody else's needs. Be selfish with your life because it's your life to live.
Paul Rudd in “Perks of Being a Wallflower” said it best: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” A lot of times, we cannot accept the love because we feel unworthy, but we are worthy, we just need to realize it ourselves. You deserve the love and care you give to others. Be kind to yourself, and stop letting others' approval be the measure in which you lead your life. I know that it's so much easier to say it than to live it. Changing your whole mindset takes time. I'm just saying, work at it. When the thoughts and anxieties creep in late at night and keep you awake, rest easy knowing it's nothing but noise.
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